Den of Thieves

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Photo Source: STX Films

Nick O’Brien is the hard-drinking leader of the Regulators, an elite unit of the Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department. Ray Merrimen is the recently paroled leader of the Outlaws, a gang of ex-military men who use their expertise and tactical skills to evade the law. O’Brien, Merrimen and their crews soon find themselves on a direct collision course as the criminals hatch an elaborate plan for a seemingly impossible heist — the city’s Federal Reserve Bank. – STX Films

Den of Thieves was written and directed by Christian Gudegast.

January is a notoriously bad time for films in the cinema but after seeing Insidious: The Last Key and seeing that it wasn’t utter shit, I thought “maybe January won’t be so bad.” I was wrong. I saw the trailer for Den of Thieves months ago, it looked awesome, it looked like a dumb action heist movie, which I love. Den of Thieves was much worse. Biggest let down of the year. Like Suicide Squad, the trailer was way better than the movie.

I don’t even know where to start with this movie. I guess the acting was decent, the robbers weren’t bad I especially liked Pablo Schreiber and O’Shea Jackson Jr. aka lil Ice Cube aka lil Cube. The cops were decent too but then there was Gerard Butler or Gerry Butler as I like to call him. Gerry pulled some Nic Cage stuff in this movie and hammed it up to 11. Apparently, the director asked Gerry to put on 20 lbs. for the movie, it looked like 50 lbs., he sounded out of breath in every scene he was in, even when there wasn’t any physical activity involved. He looked like one of those wicked out of shape dudes at your gym who wears a wife beater and talks about how he used to bench two plates. There were roughly two scenes in the movie where Gerry wasn’t shoving something into his mouth. I hated his character, he was a shit person, a garbage dad, a garbage husband and an even worse cop. You could argue that Gerry acted the hell out of this role because I was supposed to hate him but I don’t think that’s the case.

Who was I supposed to root for in this movie, the cops or the robbers? The robbers of course are bad guys and the cops are cops. But all the cops were super macho, edgy, assholes who were way too out of shape to be wearing wife beaters and called each other bro way too many times. On top of all of that I’m pretty sure they committed way more crimes than the actual criminals did. Again, you can argue the writer/director wanted you to root for the criminals and dislike the cops but the way the ending went down, I’m not sure on that.

This movie was all over the place too. We never learned anyone’s name except for lil Cube and Gerry’s basically the writer just telling us no one else matters. There was a scene at 50 Cent’s house with his daughter that made no sense once so ever being in the film. And for some reason the director felt the need to keep showing us Gerry Butler being a shit dad and husband and were supposed to feel bad for him, I think not, he got what he deserved.

I hated quite a bit of this movie but it wasn’t all trash. The heist was intriguing as hell, the plan and the execution had me on the edge of my seat. The action itself was shot quite well, it looked much more like real life versus a video game like some movies. And I really did like the robbers and rooted for them the whole time.

The ending was shit. Came completely out of left field and ruined the rest of the movie. Den of Thieves was way too long, clocking in at 2 hours and 20 mins, should’ve cut 30 minutes out probably would’ve been better.

Den of Thieves overall is a 100% watchable film with decent action but wait till this one is on HBO. It is a laughable good time because of how bad it is.

I give Den of Thieves a 5.3 out of 10, might watch again with the boys to roast it.

“*heavy breathing*”

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