Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets


Photo Source: IMDb

In the 28th century, special operatives Valerian (Dane DeHaan) and Laureline work together to maintain order throughout the human territories. Under assignment from the minister of defense, the duo embarks on a mission to Alpha, an ever-expanding metropolis where diverse species gather to share knowledge and culture. When a dark force threatens the peaceful city, Valerian and Laureline must race against time to identify the menace that also jeopardizes the future of the universe. – STX Entertainment

Here is another one of my most anticipated movies of the summer. It has been a good run so I guess I was bound to get a dud sooner or later. I really should’ve saw Dunkirk instead. This movie wasn’t that bad, it just wasn’t very good.

Luc Besson wrote and directed Valerian. People like him, most people like The Fifth Element and I think some people like Lucy and I guess some people will like this movie. The directing is good I guess. The movie looks really really good. There were tons of crazy settings and so many different aliens. Everything looked really good. Visually this movie is pretty good. It is quite enjoyable to look at but that is mostly it. Maybe if I had some psychotropic drugs, the plot wouldn’t have mattered.

The opening scene to Valerian kicks off with David Bowie’s Space Oddity. I really dug it, the scene is easily one of the best in the whole movie. After that scene is where the movie lost me. Valerian is 137 minutes long. I watched all 137 minutes and I still am not too sure of the plot. I’ve got a general idea but the movie was just all over the place. It was like I was watching someone play a video game and the main story kept getting interrupted by side missions that had nothing to do with the main story. Valerian was all style no substance. I cannot remember the last time I checked my watch during a movie, until this movie. It was way too damn long. At least this movie was funny. It was funny how terrible the jokes in the movie were. Seriously like maybe two jokes hit.

There was some solid acting in the movie. Just not from Valerian and Laureline. Dane DeHaan did his usual acting style which works sometimes (see Chronicle) and doesn’t work other times (see The Amazing Spider-Man 2.) I think he is good in some stuff but he wasn’t good in this. Not a very interesting character, I did like his fashion style though. Dane Dehaan did his normal thing so you can’t really blame him. Cara Delevingne had a poor performance. See seemed like she had no desire to be in the film and was just there for the paycheck. I know she can act well and this was not her best. There was zero chemistry between the two as well. The whole movie they are supposed to be in a will they won’t they position and I just could not believe it. They did not seem interested in each other one bit. On the bright side Ethan Hawke (Jolly the Pimp) and Rihanna (Bubble) had excellent performances. Rihanna really stole the show, I enjoyed every scene with her. Too bad both of their characters shouldn’t have been in the movie. The whole part with them was a “side mission” and didn’t really matter to the main story. It is too bad neither of them weren’t in the movie more, maybe I would’ve liked it more. I say we get a Jolly the Pimp and Bubble spin off. Anybody?

I really wanted to like this movie, it had a lot of promise and I bet the original graphic novel is actually good but this just isn’t. Looks real good but that is it.

Valerian looked very good on the big screen in 3D but it is just not worth the money.

The best part of the movie was when I got Taco Bell after.

I give Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets a 5 out of 10, not likely to watch again.

If you’d like to buy what inspired the movie click here. It is probably better than the movie. I might buy it to wash the bad taste of the movie out of my mouth.



War for the Planet of the Apes 

Photo Source: IMDb

Caesar (Andy Serkis) and his apes are forced into a deadly conflict with an army of humans led by a ruthless colonel (Woody Harrelson). After the apes suffer unimaginable losses, Caesar wrestles with his darker instincts and begins his own mythic quest to avenge his kind. As the journey finally brings them face to face, Caesar and the colonel are pitted against each other in an epic battle that will determine the fate of both of their species and the future of the planet. – 20th Century Fox

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Spider-Man: Homecoming (Official Review)


Photo Source: IMDb

Thrilled by his experience with the Avengers, young Peter Parker returns home to live with his Aunt May. Under the watchful eye of mentor Tony Stark, Parker starts to embrace his newfound identity as Spider-Man. He also tries to return to his normal daily routine — distracted by thoughts of proving himself to be more than just a friendly neighborhood superhero. Peter must soon put his powers to the test when the evil Vulture emerges to threaten everything that he holds dear. – Sony Pictures Releasing

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Baby Driver

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Photo Source: Slash Film

Talented getaway driver Baby (Ansel Elgort) relies on the beat of his personal soundtrack to be the best in the game. After meeting the woman (Lily James) of his dreams, he sees a chance to ditch his shady lifestyle and make a clean break. Coerced into working for a crime boss (Kevin Spacey), Baby must face the music as a doomed heist threatens his life, love and freedom. –  TriStar Pictures

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The Mummy

Photo Source: Universal Pictures/Dark Universe 

Nick Morton is a soldier of fortune who plunders ancient sites for timeless artifacts and sells them to the highest bidder. When Nick and his partner come under attack in the Middle East, the ensuing battle accidentally unearths Ahmanet, a betrayed Egyptian princess who was entombed under the desert for thousands of years. With her powers constantly evolving, Morton must now stop the resurrected monster as she embarks on a furious rampage through the streets of London. – Universal Pictures/Dark Universe 

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Wonder Woman

Before she was Wonder Woman (Gal Gadot), she was Diana, princess of the Amazons, trained to be an unconquerable warrior. Raised on a sheltered island paradise, Diana meets an American pilot (Chris Pine) who tells her about the massive conflict that’s raging in the outside world. Convinced that she can stop the threat, Diana leaves her home for the first time. Fighting alongside men in a war to end all wars, she finally discovers her full powers and true destiny. – Warner Brothers

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Alien Covenant

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20th Century Fox

Bound for a remote planet on the far side of the galaxy, members (Katherine Waterston, Billy Crudup) of the colony ship Covenant discover what they think to be an uncharted paradise. While there, they meet David (Michael Fassbender), the synthetic survivor of the doomed Prometheus expedition. The mysterious world soon turns dark and dangerous when a hostile alien life-form forces the crew into a deadly fight for survival. – 20th Century Fox

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King Arthur: Legend of the Sword

After the murder of his father, young Arthur’s power-hungry uncle Vortigern seizes control of the crown. Robbed of his birthright, he grows up the hard way in the back alleys of the city, not knowing who he truly is. When fate leads him to pull the Excalibur sword from stone, Arthur embraces his true destiny to become a legendary fighter and leader. – Warner Brothers Pictures Continue reading